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painful sex, pain in intercourse, pain on orgasim, orgasm pain, vagina too tight, birth control, lubrication,

Painful sex

Every time my girlfriend and I have intercourse after only a few minutes I have to stop because she starts to have vaginal pain. I only have an average size penis, so I wouldn't think it would be my size that hurts her. It's almost as if her vaginal muscles tighten up way to tight and she can't stand the penetration after. I have noticed when I go down on her that after she has an orgasim, her vagina does in fact get to tight even for me to slide a finger in. This problem really upsets her because we can't have intercourse for more than just 3 or 4 minutes even when using lube.

The pain isn't constant, it only hurts when we keep trying to continue. Started about 1 year ago. she's been on birth control since she was 13.

We've tried different lubes, positions, and any other thing we can think of. PEASE HELP!!!

- M, 25, single, US

Thank you for sharing your concern with us.

It appears from your mail that your girl friend does not have difficulty during penetration... the pain starts a couple of minutes after penetration & thrusting and thereafter intercourse becomes difficult. Even if she bears with the pain for another minute or two to reach orgasm, she can no longer give another try because her vaginal muscles tighten and close the opening of the vaginal barrel.

You have described the pain as vaginal pain but I need to know specifically whether it

  •     is a pain or burning sensation

  •     starts at what time during intercourse,

  •     is felt around the vaginal entrance or inside the vaginal
        barrel or upon deeper thrusting

  •     is also felt in the lower abdomen.

Women using hormonal contraception may have reduced vaginal lubrication and increased chances of yeast infection, which in turn cause vaginal soreness and irritation during intercourse. This makes intercourse very painful. The tightening up of vaginal muscles could happen through voluntary effort or involuntarily in response to the pain or burning sensation.


Other vaginal infections may also cause this problem and it's important to remember that a number of vaginal infections are free of symptoms for a good number of women. You said the problem started with a previous partner, so it should be viewed from this angle too.


Hymeneal remnants, pelvic masses, prolapsed ovaries, a medical condition called endometriosis, pelvic inflammatory disease are among the other prominent causes of vaginal pain associated with intercourse.


If no medical condition is identified, psychosocial factors need to be investigated. Anxiety, fear, religious orthodoxy, poor body-image, anger at partner, distrust, poor communication and much deeper causes are identified as sources of vaginal pain.


Whatever the cause all women experiencing vaginal pain during intercourse on a regular basis should undergo gynec examination, because very often physical causes are involved.


Therefore a gynec consultation is highly recommended as a starting point. Depending on the investigations, further evaluation can be planned. Please note that vaginal pain if neglected, can lead to vaginismus, and desire/arousal/orgasmic dysfunctions. So please think of an early appointment with her physician/gynecologist.

All the best
Poosha Darbha


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