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Cannot have orgasms through intercourse...
 

I would like to know how come when I am with any man --I cannot have an orgasm through intercourse or by him stimulating me. I can only have one by touching myself when I am alone. I never had an orgasm with a man during oral sex or anyway. I only had one through masturbation and partner sometimes watching.

 
Answer
 
Usually the culprit is the circumstances, or anxiety; it may be the inappropriate position or technique. It may be the partner who orgasms before you do. Not withstanding all these, it is clear that you are capable of orgasms.

If you are able to reach climax in some instances but not in the other it is what we call 'situational'. Compare both situations and note the differences between them in each possible area - your surroundings, method of stimulation, the type and intensity of feelings aroused in each situation, fantasies, your level of comfort/discomfort, or anxiety in either situation, what exactly goes on in your head when you are participating in sex with partner, your feelings about your or his attractiveness etc.,

These observations will help you identify what's holding you from reaching orgasm. By bridging the gaps you can overcome the problem. For ex., if you are anxious or tense in the presence of a partner or if you do not have the same leisure and comfort as you would have in your solitary experiences - work out ways to eliminate these factors.

Try different coital positions. Some are capable of giving orgasm to women faster, for ex., woman-on-top, with the partner stimulating her clitoris.

Communicate with your partner about what and how you would like him to do to take you to orgasm. You can do so verbally or by guiding his movements to your advantage.

 
 
All the best
Poosha Darbha
   

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