A 24-yr. old single
Indian male writes:
I am 24 year old guy living in United
States. I started masturbating when I was 14 years old. I used to
masturbate 3-4 times a day. I never had any problems for about 2
years. In fact I scored one of the highest scores in our school in
my tenth standard. During 11th standard I heard about Raj Bapna Mind
Power. I bought the cassettes that are supposed to contain
subliminal messages that enhance your mind power. Anyway my problems
may not be directly connected with them. I am not sure about it.
After a few weeks I felt that I should not masturbate and I will
lose my memory if I masturbate too much. Then I noticed "floaters"
in my eyes. I started having jerks in my neck like my head will
shake whenever I tried to concentrate.
I believed everything
happened because of masturbation. The conscious drove me mad. You
will not believe how difficult it is too live with psychological
guilt. Sorry to be rude. But to me death would have been a blessing
at that time. Then college came and I still had the same the
problem. But it became so complex like I am becoming violent.
biggest problem was that I will not be able to concentrate on my
studies as I will see "floaters" and jerky feelings of my head. I am
the only child to my parents. I used to get violent mad and becuase
of my high stree i got vitiligo .I do not have discoloration all
over my skin. But only in a few spots (like 1 cm) in my limbs and
hands!!!..I would have committed suicide but the only thought that
holds me back is my parents. My parents have enormous debts and they
solidly depend upon me to solve them. But my parents do not know
anything about these things. Seeing the violent attitude of me, they
sent me to a psychiatrist. He told me that everything was my
Every problem I faced was created subconsciously by my
mind becuase of the masturbation guilt. He also told me that I can
masturbate as many times as possible and nothing wrong will happen
to me or to my nervous system. Later I finished my Bachelors but
still I was not convinced.
Due to my parents compulsion I came to
America. I am in further more pressure because my parents have spent
all their money on me. They still do not completely comprehend my
problem.. They think that their son ,a normal and healthy guy, will
succeed if he gets support financially. If I have not masturbated
(or if i have not suffer from those problems), I would have got at
least a job and I would have been happy by now. Can you please help
me ?. All these years I barely finished my degrees and I am trying
to get a job in US to pay back all the debts.
Please do suggest me
some books that can enlighten me about masturbation and the effects
psychologically. Please tell me if I have to take any medicine I am
more than willing to take. I also found a link that states exactly
opposite to modern medicine's theory of masturbation. Please go
through that too. Please give your opinion on that too. http://www.kuruvinda.com/health.php?c=10
Thank you for sharing your concern with sexualcounselling.com
I will try my best to answer your questions.
Before 1960s, people
who wrote books on sex stated with an almost religious fervor that
masturbation was a very bad and harmful thing to do. Tissot, a
physician wrote so convincingly that those days the entire medical
profession believed that Masturbation is harmful. Every thing from
impotence to insanity to varicocele were attributed to matsurbation.
As sex research has taken a new dimension in the sixties, the
scientific outlook towards masturbation started changing as was the
case with a number of other medical conditions and ordinary physical
traits as well as habits. Today almost the entire medical
researchers are convinced that masturbation is harmless. There are
no known clinical conditions that result from masturbation. Contrary
to being believed as a harmful practice, masturbation today, is
recognized as a tool / technique that can help solve a number of
From collection of semen sample for laboratory examination.. to
teaching how to reach orgasm .. to training overcoming premature
ejaculation.. to compensating orgasmic problem of a partner..
masturbation plays an important role in sexual life. Monkeys do it,
Giraffes do it, camels do it, the cattle do it, birds do it.. both
in captivity and nature (You may have watch noticed it in TV
Channels such as Discovery).
Those who have suffered out of masturbation were only those who were
terribly guilty of the act. And those who were addicted to
masturbation and did it compulsively in spite of not having need to
do so. Guilt, Addiction, Compulsion, Obsession these are culprits in
anyway in every sphere of life, in the sense they affect the normal
thinking and normal functioning. If we could get rid of them, we
also get rid of the perceived evil effects of masturbation.
I have read the article in kuruvinda.com. The argument is impressive
but I suspect if it would stand test. I personally do not believe in
any such theories, since unbiased research has shown that
masturbation is harmless. Besides my own logic tells me my belief to
be right. If I were you and of the belief that masturbation is
harmful, I would simply quit masturbation and be relieved with
that. If I realize or believe smoking is harmful, would I not try to
quit smoking and thank myself for that?
What about the effects that already occurred? Be assured that no
harmful effects ever occur with masturbation. Even if you are not
willing to accept this statement, you may at least believe that any
such effects will be reversed on their own soon after you quit
Floaters in the eyes? Every one has them. They are tiny spots and
thread-like dust particles trapped in the film of water covering the
eyeball. These floaters appear to float in front of your eyes and
move up or down or sideways as you move your eyes ... and then
slowly fall down until you lift your eyes up again. They are
conspicuously visible when you stare into distant objects, gaze
listlessly or watch objects too closely. The only problem is
becoming conscious of them and attributing it to behaviours like
So is the case with vitiligo. I do not see in what way it is
connected to masturbation. Vitiligo is a pigmentation disorder that
has some genetic basis. If we are destined (by genes) to get it we
get it anyway whether or not we masturbate. Vitiligo has no
satisfactory cure. All the same do not ignore it and visit a
dermatologist to see how he can help you arrest further growth of
I concur with your parents' impression that you are a fully normal
and healthy person. Why not?
All of us do suffer from some weak points. Recognizing, downplaying
and overcoming the WEAKNESSES ... and recognizing, enhancing and
operating upon our STRENGTHS is THE KEY to success. Your weakness
appears to be that you are stuck with masturbation guilt. Get rid of
it and you are a roaring success.
By 'getting rid of it' I mean that you do not let it bother you
any more. Tell yourself that masturbation is a normal part of
healthy sexual development and you are doing what every body else is
doing. If you are uncomfortable with that idea, stop masturbating
and there you are .. a happy and healthy guy. Regain your
confidence and seek out a job that best suits to your
qualifications. Going to US is not an easy thing. Not everybody can
achieve it. YOU DID it, which in itself is a proof that you are
competent in many areas. Certainly you will be absorbed in a job.
Take up the job not just to clear your debts, do the job towards
your soul's contentment. Do it with sincerity and dedication, for
you also owe to serve the community which has given u the
opportunity for higher ed. Money will anyway come your way. Sorry if
I sound preaching.
All the best.
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