A 31-yr. old single UK male writes:

I am masturbating since childhood, My penis size has shrunken, size is very small, i am facing problem of premature ejaculation, I am getting married in 2 months, can u help

Thank you for sharing your concerns with us but your mail does not much information about you. From what little i could comprehend, I furnish clarifications below:

Masturbation is quite normal, natural and harmless. Masturbation ITSELF does not cause any sexual problems, but what causes problems is the worry and anxiety that one develops about masturbation. So, shedding the apprehensions is the answer.

Masturbation does not shrink the penis, or arrest the growth of penis even if you started it in your childhood. The penis contains spongy tissue and the penis can shrink and stretch itself many times in a day so that the flaccid penis is never the same size if you measure it a number of times during the day at different intervals.

If the penis measures about 4-6 inches long when erect, it's a good enough penis,. You may wish to know that penises which look very small when flaccid are capable of expanding to great size when erect, and those which look longer when flaccid will expand much less and reach about the same size as the shorter penis does. In any case there is vast difference in the penis size (whether erect or flaccid) between individuals and this is only as natural as the difference in the size and shape of nose ears mouth etc.

You may therefore very well get married any day and you would be able to enjoy sex as nicely as any other, provided you shed all your apprehensions about masturbation and penis size.

II. Premature ejaculation is almost inevitable for every young male as they highly sexually charged individuals and have very less control on their sexual responses. This is however compensated by the ability to participate in sex the second time shortly after the first intercourse. (Some may not be capable of that but it is not unnatural). You could use short term medications such as low dose Fluoxitine - on doctor's prescription - to overcome premature ejaculation. You could also learn control over ejaculation through a series exercises and learning methods developed - for example by James Semans,  Masters & Johnson.

I suggest you to read the following two books which can be of enormous help to you.

1.  The New Male Sexuality by Bernard Zilbergeld . Bantom
2.  PE: How to Overcome Premature Ejaculation by Helen S Kaplan

(the links are provided to the right of this column)



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